Gambling with Life

Screw others, always be ready to place the bet !

Archive for December, 2011

A thing of beauty

Posted by Rojit on December 29, 2011

as sitting there and across the hallway, he lighted up his probably 4th cigarette. And as usual, he made just the faintest smile at me as if he must, knowingly the anxiety over his face couldn’t be hidden at all. I thought of having a chat with him trying to comfort him or rather myself, but the very thought that he might like to be alone stopped me, yet again. His eyes kept track of anyone coming out of the room. Almost standing halfway, he would be again asked not to worry. His mobile phone monotone, a tune of some puja, sometimes rang and still, he somehow managed to be indifferent to it, not caring to pick up the calls.

With a long breath, he finished the last puff. His hands were coarse and his somewhat shabby clothes vividly showed he had come running from his workplace. The torn sandals must have tales to tell of how it failed him with all those small injury marks all over his feet. The sweats which had already vamoosed by then let me surmise that he indeed ran a few distances.

At last, a lady with a mask came out of the room and upon seeing her he sprung from his seat. With eyes already drenched with anxiety, he pressed his locket that seemed to me a small figure of Lord Krishna and waited for the lady to speak. I heard nothing but could grasp it when the guy exulted with happiness tried to touch the lady’s feet. The moment had come and Another lady then came out giving him the tiny little creature and, he with all tears, embraced the little creature which by then started crying!

I just witnessed a momentary weighing of life and death with the latter not able to find its prey. With every reason that the report in my hand could give to break me in to pieces, I just smiled at myself and left!

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The not so ‘ME’

Posted by Rojit on December 3, 2011

Sometimes, though being on this side of the road where I believe life blossoms every moment, yet I wonder what it’s like to be on that side. Every other person I meet who has been there, I somehow construe the feelings as something I really don’t need and sometimes the pain inflicted left me mock at those who needlessly have been trying to swim across the other side! I wonder where the fine line that demarcates happiness and sadness sometimes stretches to the extent where I couldn’t imagine and sometimes I search everywhere just to realize I have been standing on it. How does it feel like holding the hands of the girl you love the most? Chatting for hours about the most secretive feelings and the warmth of sharing transferred through her hands making you all new guy. I do wonder when I do it, I shall try to take away each and every tear she may have hidden.
Someday, I’ll hug someone with all my heart so that at least for those moments, I’ll try telling that no matter the world comes sour, this person hugging you will always stand by you. The feelings will always change and for that someone I know the change shall bade the adjectives like diminishing, decreasing or receding! And when her emotions boil up to that stage where her tears just can’t stop running down, I wanna feel like what kissing someone is all about. Is that reassuring the beliefs u have instilled in her or is it when the words have just finished doing their part. The purity of it won’t cease to leave me with even more greater respect for her. The moment will come, when the tears will finish, when the happiness shall leave a permanent mark on you, when you believe that I…that I’m not at all a bad guy, and this moment I’ll treasure in the sweetest corner of my life and the atheist in me shall defy all deities to deify you for the rest of my life!!

Yup, yup I agree folks, this is not so ME!!

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In celebration of a new found LIFE

Posted by Rojit on December 1, 2011

In every despicable way the world looks at her, she sways down the road with no worry and no sense of guilty conscience or shame as the family living across the street puts it because the day has come when she is going to leave all these marks behind for all good. She has come a long way in her life. The fate had become dry and so had been her love life. Abandonment by her family had always been one reason failing her to stop her tears from running down and the present ‘her’ has already forgotten how to even spell tears. There was a time, when at the end of her working day, she looked at the mirror and the beautiful and serene face quickly turned into a black rivulet running down to her cheek as the kohl mixed with her tears. The only consolation patting on her shoulder from time to time being: the memoir of her childhood past sometimes revisiting her leaving her face, now slaked with ‘its’ thoughts, glisten with new hope of life filled with new found meanings and hopes! Today, she leaves behind everything to the clouds except this greatest gift which saw a completely new ‘her’. All the time, she knew not a way to cleanse her sold body, her skin time and again touched by many an unknown faces. The purity of her soul was all that kept her going despite the blind world who loves to loathe her to d worst. But none, not even her co-workers, knew that every night before sleep, she used to send out thousands of wishes to the Almighty asking not a dream guy to come and take her as almost all 24 year old gal would, but an angel to let resurrect her lost faith in her life. To every night of her working hours, she sold everything except even a morsel of her emotion.
The day, after so many ups and downs, has finally knocked at her door. As she is strolling and almost approaching her destination, she is now with all smiles believing that she could now rekindle her long lost fire of a real self with a real smile and a real life. Her bags are hefty but that don’t concern her. May be because of the two train tickets she has in her bag to a place far away from here are all that matter to her. With no lipstick, her dress attire is exulting a pretty woman who has just been liberated from a cold dungeon where self confidence and respect are certainly disposed off without a single thought. Now at the gate she joins hundreds of others who were also waiting for the same, but now transformed into a wicked crowd whose whispers have now become loud enough to be considered poignant. The shrewd ladies can’t help but torment her soul and the husbands just can’t help looking at her body which is now almost soaked with sweats. She cares none as this has been a routine exercise and somehow, she has learnt to close her ears whenever needed. The bell finally rings and the hustling sounds of the running kids can now be heard. There is happiness in everyone’s face. The murmurs amongst the crowd come to a standstill as they now start to call out names. By this time, she arranges her coif of hair, approaches towards the gate, elevates her heel and looks out for the one she has been waiting for. All this time, she has been on cloud nine and none could now deter her from running towards her dream. The gates are finally opened and one by one the gathered people start leaving. She has never had such a longing for something but today the seconds past seem to her ages. Finally, she could hear the faintest sound of steps of the person who is different from the rest. She could now even hear the words being called. The long lost tears finally got back and the tiny little such roll down her cheeks as she is being embraced. She remains being hugged for about 10 minutes and for the first time, she could hear herself cry. It was an emotional moment for her but none among the passersby could surmise it neither could her daughter who by now asks why she is crying. She doesn’t answer to her baby. She just looks up and and with probably the last teardrop on her face, she says, “Thanks for my angel..!”

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