Gambling with Life

Screw others, always be ready to place the bet !

Archive for August, 2008

a small story..!

Posted by Rojit on August 9, 2008

                   I was in class XI and this girl was one year senior to me. I saw her everyday without being noticed and smiled at myself remembering her smiles even at night. I never told to my friends and hence couldn’t even know her name. So, it went on and on for many months  and when I thought the time was ripe, I fastened up myself gearing up to ask her name.

                   It was Wednesday and a very cloudy one. I bunked the class and waited for the interval in the canteen. During the recess, I saw her nearing the canteen. She was with one of her friends. When her tresses had finished playing its part to cover her face, I saw her lips’ movement vivid enough to let me surmise that she would laugh at that very instant.  At that very moment she tried to smile, the gentle eye movement of her was arrested and framed in the sweetest corner of my heart. I stood up with a courageous heart to confront her, believing in myself that I can do it but….the power of her looks was too great….forget about countering her eyes….I could say that I wouldn’t need a stethoscope to listen to the lup-dup of this heart. With a head lying low down, I went up to her to ask a question that should slake my eagerness which was born since I saw her. As I was on the way, it seemed like going on a tightrope under which the world of anxiety lies…too much angst. But when I began to hear her footsteps, I was pacified and thrown out on that heavenly abode where I could hear only the sweetest voices, witness the most beautiful bounties and the friendliest creations of the Almighty. Then, I stood up and went towards her hoping to experience a small part of my life that would act as a base to a hefty joy coming in the long run. The unexplained happiness with full of gay, filled me in that moment…. and that irresistible bliss flowing right through the sky. In the next moment, I looked in her eyes and she looked at me as well. From where the sudden power emerges transcending my inner limits, I didn’t know… I was somehow able to counter the magical eyes that had been pulling me down further and further in that surreal world. To me, there were two of us in the world. I was feeling bashful, excited, glee, magnified, worried… everything. Trying to forget all these things, I tried to let my words flow out first. I asked her with an uttering voice,” Uh….uh…aann….uh….can I…can I… know….uh…. your name, please? ” There was a huge silent afterwards just like a world of lifeless creatures. She smiled at me and soon after, the sweetest music of all ever heard; the most beautiful voice ever sounded came out into play. With a gentle look, she raised her eyes and said, “Are you not Rojit?”

Just as she finished asking it, even for a slight of a second I couldn’t take the enormous happiness that was showering on me. I pinched and asked myself how she could know my name. I was too happy guessing all those may be’s and if’s. I was crazed enough to think about the very thing that could happen next…. we could go and have tea somewhere, talk a few of ourselves…know each other more deeply….meet everyday….and finally fall in love… go to some fine restaurant on my first date…. gift her a damn cute pink colour T-shirt… etc etc. I was so much into this thought that I actually couldn’t hear her calling me again. And by doing that, she was asking me the same question. So, I finally replied her saying that she had approached the right person. It was then just a matter of time who was gonna ask the other for a cup of tea. I thought of asking how she knew my name but something urged me not to and so I kept silent.

She then continued with what I think the heaviest stuff ever fallen on me, “I’m Sonia, your brother Rahul’s girlfriend…!”

” I climbed on top of a cliff to cry out your name so that your name could could be heard to the huge mountains and even to the Almighty. I reached on top and before shouting, I heard your name echoing in my ears. I almost thanked the Lord when I realized that there was already someone shouting your name..!!”

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About a gal.

Posted by Rojit on August 6, 2008

                                   It all started during those hot summer days in 3rd year of my engineering life. And the third floor of my college proves to be the only place in the whole college where I preferred to stay for most of the time and was actually happy about it. It’s not because we had the coolest water available on that floor but simply because a gorgeous and very cute Tamil girl had her class on that floor. May be she was the lone reason why my attendance percentage was above 90…lolz. I couldn’t count how many times I excused myself from the ongoing class just to have a glance at her. And sometimes not to be caught by teachers patrolling on the floor, I often had to drink the cool water which I actually didn’t like. So, cold and fever visited me often. Notwithstanding this, an inexplicable feeling always pulled me down to do things never intended… something like noticing whatever dresses worn by her and I had to admit that Yellow suited her the best. At every night before going to sleep I, though don’t pray usually, always wished I could never see her in dreams coz I believed dreams and realities are two sides of a coin… can never meet…!!  Now, everything is over… engg finished!! I was lucky for not being carried away too much to do something silly.

 

     But, I still believe there was something in between us. The first time I saw her, this feeling didn’t flow to me. I was too much thrilled being arrested by her eyes’ movement that I thought I would skip my heartbeats. May be if I had continued looking into her eyes for another five to six seconds, I should’ve known the ‘love’ that was waiting for me to trespass onto it.

 

Or when I almost talked to her that day when for the first time she forgot to blink her eyes making me do the same while we met at the stairs. I wished that stair were the highest in the world. May be, if I could harness that small energy to at least say ‘Hi’ to her, then I should have been flooded with love by now….may be..!!

 

Or when I first saw that little smile she put on at those special moments fearing someone might fall for her. Hiding from everyone’s view, that curve was playing in her face…so freely with no worries…. that even without acknowledging me, this heart being affected to the bones, had already volunteered to deify her. I told to myself that that was heaven which everyone should be blessed with. It came to me so unexpectedly that I wasn’t even myself to even try to embrace it. May be if I had known how much that smile was going to change my life, then I should’ve known that life-changing  ‘love’ that became very tired by then waiting to be seen.

 

For whatever reasons that stopped me from crossing those cases of ‘May be’s’, I’m still happy thinking how much joy I felt during those days. Let me a wind once so that I could flow in to her world though I’m not a part of it….not even a shadow… but I could at least touch her face with all my heart.

NB : The girl is now engaged already… sob sob..!!

 

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